Woo-men

PMS, Emotions, Hormones

Ticking bio-clocks

Unsettling menopause

We hone different hats

We come with different skill-sets

We juggle, we multitask

Cook, wife,mother,daughter,friend,chauffeur,referee,judge,house-keeper,primary grocery getter, laundry cleaner, pet –feeder…

Unsabaticaled, un re’’tiring’’ unaccounted for the myriad unpaid thankless jobs..!



Eyebrows threaded

Nose-hair tweezed

One by one done and hachooo goes the sneeze

Pimples plucked and black-heads squeezed

Arms, legs, woefully waxed clean

Hair – colored, streaked, bonded, straightened, ironed, curled, lengthened, and shortened

As goes the whims of the ‘’In-fashion’’ season…!



Anti-wrinkled, age-defying, cellulite-spot reduction, bleaches and creams

Feminine tunic patterns, lurid shades, palette – lip-eye-nail

Fake lashes, nails, fairness face paints

Formulations, foundations, compacts, blush, lipsticks, liners

Stilettos, wedges, strappy sandals, red killer dresses, tummy-tucks, facelifts, Botox = constant touchups

Shimmery shiny lip gloss, followed by a constant reminder to brush and floss…



The lingerie collection should be intriguing, ‘’enamor’’ing…

Laces, frills, stripes, spots to keep you guessing…

We have to accentuate and accessorize to spruce up the spark, to keep the fire burning …

Art of being subtly suggestive without being explicitly excessive

Just the right neck-plunge-line to let your imagination run wild and to not showcase a ''straight in nose-dive''..



No delightful brownies or the sinful choco-chip cookies

No midnight munches

Just a zero-carb diet and a 100 odd crunches..

What not for those enviable curves, that hour-glass figure, ‘’damn’’ how easily do we pile on those extra unwanted inches??



We come in all creeds, all colors…

You tell us ‘’you are pretty’’ and we swear ‘’we aren’t’’

But you dare to agree and poof goes your chances Honey

‘’Do I look fat in this’’ is just a rhetorical question never meant to be answered in affirmative!



We could plague you, vex you, distract you, perplex you, unsettle you, change you, ‘’altar’’ you…

We most times have spiky hair for we ‘’shave’’ our legs…

or don't have any public corner stone or ''against the tree-wall pee-spot territory''..

But we can empty your wallets, justify any shopping spree without ever feeling guilty!

We don’t drive in circles at any cost and have no problem admitting when we are truly lost…

We don’t watch movies with incessant bombardments and lots of gore..

We may cry for no ‘’apparent’’ reason but we certainly don’t need instant ‘’Replay’’ to remember the score..!



Dear Men, Flowers are okay but jewels are best…

And we would sincerely appreciate if you spoke to our faces rather than our breasts..!



You could like us in rain or in sunshine

After a peg of whisky or a heady wine

We could just simply ignore you or could just let you pine!



We come in all shapes and sizes =narrow-broad-wide

Button-nosed or almond eyed

Dark-light

Dowdy-bling

Distant-fragrant

Demure-homespun

A right blend of coyness and extroversion, of adventure and caution

In shorts, skirts, sexy, perky or clad in saree blushingly coy

Well-bred or uncommon…



But we are more than skin

More than color

More than pounds of flesh designated as ‘’ASSets’’...



Here we come Dear Men, our mission to woo men

Albeit being humble Mortals , Treat us right with respect for we are women with ''substance''…!